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         Discernment Counseling:

To continue in marriage or to divorce

If you or your spouse are considering divorce but are not completely sure that’s the best path,  Discernment Counseling is designed for you. It’s a chance to slow down and look at your options for your marriage.

Discernment Counseling is a specialized way of helping couples when one person is “leaning out” of the relationship—and not sure that regular marriage counseling would help--and the other is "leaning in”—that is, interested in rebuilding the marriage.

This is very different than marriage counseling and requires specific training to assist you in understanding which path you would like to take. 

As a Certified Discernment Counselor, I will help you decide whether to work towards:

  1. Restoring your marriage to health

  2. Moving toward divorce

  3. Taking a time out and deciding later

The goal is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and its possibilities for the future.


The goal is not to solve your marital problems during the Discernment phase but to see if there is a desire and possibility around solving them. You will each be treated with compassion and respect no matter how you are feeling about your marriage at the moment. 

We will look at the importance of each partner seeing your own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in the future regardless of which path you take. 

Because Discernment Counseling differs from Marriage Counseling, the session times and dynamics vary.

  • Sessions are limited to 1-5 sessions as you determine which path you would like to pursue. 

  • The first session is 2 hours and subsequent sessions are 1-1.5 hours. 

  • Each session will consist of couple and individual time as you are each coming from a different place and perspective. 

Discernment Counseling is not suited for these situations:

  • When one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce

  • When one spouse is coercing the other to participate

  • When there is danger of domestic violence

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